Good Friday

It’s 10:20, Friday, April the 2nd, 2010; Good Friday.

Since I was born, I was taught that Jesus loves me, that God loves me, and that nothing I could ever do would change that.

My father is a preacher, and has been for the past 15 or 16 years. Me being 19 years old, that’s all I really remember, was hearing Dad preach. And it wasn’t one of those things where he was one person Sunday morning in front of the church, and a different man the rest of the week; my father lived out his faith, everyday. That doesn’t mean that he was a perfect man, or that he never sinned or messed up, because he did. We all do. Every one of us.

Except for one man. Jesus Christ.

One of my favorite songs is by a band called Needtobreathe, and the song is called ‘Garden.’ The song is from the perspective of Jesus as he is praying in the garden of Gethsemane the night before his death. The opening verse of the song says, ‘Won’t you take this cup from me? ‘Cause fear has stolen all my sleep. If tomorrow means my death, I pray You’ll save their souls with it.’ As I was driving to work this morning, I listened to this song over and over and over, trying to hold back the tears as those words ran over and over again in my head.

If you don’t have any clue what I’m talking about, let me break it down for you…

I am a sinner. You are a sinner. Yes, you. We are all sinners. Dirty, rotten, no good, horrible, pathetic sinners, that deserve nothing but death, hell, and eternal separation from God. BUT! A little more than 2,000 years ago, God sent his son, Jesus, to earth to die a horrible, painful, agonizing death on a cross, to bear the weight of all our sins, so we wouldn’t have to. He died on a cross, then rose from the grave 3 days later, to prove that not even death could keep him down. Jesus died for you. He died for me. He died, so that we could have life, everlasting life, with him.

If you haven’t seen the movie ‘The Passion of The Christ’, you need to. It is one of the most historically accurate movies about the Bible out there. The entire movie is in Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke, and it tells the story of Jesus’ capture, torture, death, and resurrection, in a way that no other movie could. We just got done watching it here at the dorms in the lobby. There were a few non-Christians there watching it, like I hoped there would be. Through the entire movie, tears streamed down my face. No matter how hard I tried to hold them back, they kept flowing as the movie went on. During the part of the movie where Jesus is carrying the cross up the hill with the guards beating him and the people spitting on him and mocking him, I just kept thinking about all the things I do, that are basically just as bad. Every time I sin, it’s just like I’m the one who was driving the nails through his hands, like I’m the one spitting in his face, like I’m the one who caused him to be crucified. That made the tears pour. But the more I thought about that, the more I was assured that Jesus did all of that, took all the beating, and died on the cross, so that I wouldn’t have to face the penalty for my sin, and so that I could live with him forever. He bled for me. He loved me that much, that he would take all of that suffering for me. Coincidentally, this made me cry even more.

The fact that Jesus loved us so much that he WILLINGLY died on a cross to save us, is the GREATEST story of sacrifice there is.

After the movie was over, we all talked about it for a while. Some people were asking me questions about it, some people were questioning the movie. What I just couldn’t understand though, was that there was one guy, obviously a non-believer, that acted like nothing had ever happened. It was like none of what we all just watched had any effect on him whatsoever. That amazed me. He talked about how he didn’t think it was a good movie because there was no ‘hook’, nothing to ‘pull him in as a viewer.’ I said to him that if the story alone didn’t pull you in, I didn’t know what could. I told him that the movie was not made for any other reason than to better display the story of Jesus’ sacrifice for us, and to better show the reality of what happened. I’m praying really hard that something out of that movie or what I said got to him, maybe just enough for him to wonder.. It just breaks my heart so much that someone can watch that movie and for it to have no affect on them at all.

I am so grateful for the fact that Jesus died to save me. And to know that nothing I ever say or do will take back what he did for me on that day is the most comforting thing in the world.

I hope everyone had a great Good Friday, and that maybe, just maybe, you took the time to think about what happened a little more than 2,000 years ago today, because it was the greatest act of love the world has ever known.

I love yall, God bless.

Romans 5:8 - But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

'What if's

So for starters, my name is Logan. I'm currently 19 years old, and I'm a student at the University of North Texas. A little background for you; I was born in Houston, Texas, and I’ve lived in Texas all of my life. I went to a very small high school of about 300, with 70 in my graduating class. I’ve got one older brother, one younger sister, and two loving parents.

Enough of that though… Blogging is about your thoughts and opinions, not boring facts…right?

When I was in high school, I played tennis. My doubles partner for my senior year, Nick, also happened to be one of my best friends. He played football, and had been signed to play for a small Baptist college in Tennessee called Carson-Newman. At the time, I was planning on attending Texas A&M University in College Station, TX, but had still not heard from them as to whether or not I had been accepted. By the time March rolled around I was getting rather anxious.. One night while playing tennis at the school, Nick was telling me all about Carson-Newman and was trying to talk me into applying there. I thought that since we were such good friends, and since I hadn’t heard anything from A&M, that I’d take a chance and apply. 6 days later I got a phone call from the admissions office telling me that I’d been accepted (to CN that is). I thought that this was rather appealing, and felt like maybe God was trying to tell me something. The school was in Jefferson City, Tennessee, about a 12 hour drive from my house, with about 2,000 students in attendance. I was used to the small school atmosphere, and was eager to get out of the town I currently lived in, and thought that having my best friend there with me would make it much easier to adjust to, so I gave up on my hopes for A&M and committed to CN.

Now, about a year later, I’m in Denton, Texas, at UNT. How on Earth did I get here? That’s a good question…

That summer before I left for college, I met and started dating a girl. We’ll call her ‘Sally’. Things happened really fast and we found ourselves quite engrossed with each other. This really changed things up.

Before Sally, I could not wait to leave my small town and go off 12 hours away to college in another state. After Sally, I didn’t want to leave that small town; I just wanted to stay there with her.

I’m sure much of you can relate to this (you meaning the imaginary people that are actually reading this).

So I finally went to Tennessee, with Sally still in Texas. The first half of the semester was very stressful, to say the least. I found myself questioning lots of things I had never questioned before, which wasn’t at all a good thing. So Sally and I decided that we were both going to transfer to UNT for the spring semester, so that we could be together. It was not too long after this that things started going downhill…

Long story short, things started fading between Sally and I. There wasn’t much that I could do to keep her feelings for me the same as they were during the summer when I was 1,000 miles away…and more and more I was realizing that she was not the girl I wanted her to be, and not the girl that was best for me, or meant for me. Still, I was set on transferring to UNT anyway, despite my failing relationship. Money was tight with my parents and I didn’t want to be a financial burden to them.

Not long after ‘mentally’ committing to UNT for the spring semester, I changed rooms in my dorm. I got a new room-mate and moved to a different hallway with a different RA. Little did I know that my new room-mate and RA would become 2 of the greatest friends I’ve ever had. Through the last 2 months of the semester, they helped me through my slowly fading relationship with Sally, my struggle with the decision of transferring, and a number of other things in my life. We became about as close as 3 friends could get in 2 months time. Up until about 3 weeks before the semester was over, I still wasn’t sure whether or not I was going to transfer. I didn’t like being 12 hours from home, I didn’t like being a financial burden to my parents, and I didn’t like not being in Texas. However, I loved my RA, room-mate, and other friends that I had made, I loved the beautiful landscape of East Tennessee, and I loved the community and connections that I had formed with the college and the people there. I had one tough decision to make…

After many sleepless nights, many thoughts and prayers, and many tears shed, I eventually chose to transfer. And even though I knew (or at least thought I knew) that I was making the right choice, it did not come without a lot of sadness and heartache. I would sometimes drive out to the dam at the lake right off campus and just sit and think, sometimes for hours…

So now I’m here at UNT. The first of the semester, I hated it here. I had no friends, I was bored and depressed all the time, and I wished I would’ve stayed in Tennessee. I was angry with myself for leaving and angry at the world at the same time.

One night, about a week after classes had started, the dorm was having a ‘meet and greet’ program. I figured that I didn’t have anything better to do, so I went to the program. Up to this time, no one in the dorm, or on campus for that matter, had said anything to me. I literally knew not a single person on the campus (other than my ex-girlfriend). So I went to the program, sat quietly, and ate the snacks that were provided to everybody. We did the whole ‘go around the circle, tell your name and where you’re from and your major’ thing, but other than that it was pretty lame. I was getting something to drink, and about to go back to my room, when I heard a voice behind me say, ‘So did you like Tennessee?’ I turned around, a little confused, and saw a girl standing there smiling, waiting for an answer. Since nobody had made an effort to talk to me before, I didn’t know if she was talking to me, or someone else that just so happened to be a transfer student from Tennessee. ‘Yeah, it was great,’ I said. She introduced herself as Becky. We continued to talk for a few minutes and then went our separate ways. The funny thing is that now we are very good friends! I’ll never forget that she was the first person to talk to me here at UNT, and that it was genuine. She had a cute smile and very kind eyes, and I know that she has had a big impact on how my semester here has gone so far.

The truth is though, that I’m not happy here at UNT. I’ve applied to A&M for the fall, and am still waiting to hear if I’m accepted. Another one of my best friends from high school is transferring there, and one of my good friends that I met at CN, but is originally from Dallas, is transferring there as well. The plan as of now is for us all to get a house off campus to live in together.

But sometimes I ask myself, ‘What if I would have been accepted to A&M in the first place and never gone to Tennessee?’ If that were the case, I wouldn’t have met 2 of the greatest friends I’ve ever had. I wouldn’t have seen the beauty of the Smoky Mountains. I wouldn’t have made the connections that I’ve made with all of the great people I met at CN.

'What if i would have stayed in Tennessee?' I would have never met Becky, or any of the other friends that I have here.

God sure does have a funny way of putting the puzzle together…

And more and more I see that everything does happen for a reason, and that if we just give it all to God, and stop worrying about if we’re making the right choices or not, that He will take care of us, and he will bring good out of it if we will let him.

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.